This week we’re looking at love and relationships. As a single person, it’s very easy to look around at couples and feel sorry for yourself. I don’t want to say the truth is so i’ll say, my truth is, if it’s not love, its okay not to want it.
When I look back at how I got here, (single) it’s not because I had any of the things listed above and then now I don’t anymore. Being single by society’s definition is about “not having somebody” and not necessarily about “not having love in your life”. You still with me?
I don’t have a romantic love in my life and I’m okay with that. It just hasn’t happened for me and that’s okay. I don’t know why it hasn’t, and there doesn’t need to be a reason. It is what it is. Or in my case it is what it isn’t, but trust that shit will work itself out.
My advice to other single people. Live and let live. A person no longer being in your life might feel like love slipped through your fingers, but love isn’t that easily lost. And if you find your life’s better without them, then that definitely wasn’t love.
This isn’t to say you didn’t love the person or that they didn’t love you, but if things didn’t work out, it wasn’t the “love” you were looking for. Vital ingredients don’t just be missing. Imagine a Tres Leches cake without the leche. The milks is what transforms a sponge cake into the cake recipe that God Himself whispered into the ear of a baker. You wanna talk about glow up? The milks is what takes the sponge cake and gives it purpose. But you see, Tres Leches needs all three milks. It’s not an uno leche cake, it’s not dos leches, it Tres Leches. We do this thing in our relationships where, we’ll have uno leche or dos leches and yeah it’s similar but that’s not the cake. “Coupled up” is not “boo’d up”.
A bunch of us singles really do be out here feeling some type of way about the fact that we’re single, worrying about whether “it” will happen for us not even realizing that love is yet to enter the chat.
I don’t so much believe it has to do with meeting the right person. I think it has more to do with just being in the right conditions. For example, say I’m making a chocolate cake, I can’t do that without cocoa powder. But is cocoa powder “the one” ingredient that will make my cake a chocolate cake? Nope, I can melt chocolate chips and add them to the mix. I can use hot chocolate mix and throw it into my recipe, I can melt a bar of chocolate and throw it into my mix so no. One ingredient doesn’t always have to be written in the stars. But, say I have my ingredients all done up but I have no oven. Or a microwave, or those fancy ones that are outdoors for making pizza. Point is, if I can’t heat up the ingredients, the shit’s gonna have to go to waste.
Say I make the cake (finally) but it’s not a chocolate cake. Chocolate was never added to batter. I was too busy trying to figure out how this cake is going to get baked that I didn’t realize the cake was never chocolate to begin with. It was a banana bread mix. (No shade to banana bread, I really do love banana bread).
Don’t stay eating banana bread all your life when what you want is a carrot cake, devil’s food cake or, TRES LECHES. For the sake of this metaphor, you not only want these cakes, but also know how to make them from scratch. The only thing you can’t control is the conditions therefore all you have to do wait for the conditions to be right. Easier said than done because that then means, you ain’t got cake to eat in the meantime. And deep down, you’re probably hoping that you can change the recipe of the banana bread to that of a strawberry fruit tart and get your strawberry fruit tart that way. (I’m listing all the cakes I love but seeing as I’m running out of metaphor, White cake, Black Forest (with cherries! but I’ll still take it with the strawberries) and corn muffins, are the only ones that didn’t make an appearance).
That’s all from me, I’ll catch you later. Check back in on Monday for the the final thoughts on this discussion before we move on to physical wellness.
Have a great weekend and until then, take care and be blessed 🙂